Nine essential items you will need to become a genuine hillbilly, including two Instructional books: ‘How to Speak Southern’ and ‘Speakin Southern Like it Should be Spoke” As well as an assortment of necessary paraphernalia: A Redneck Smart Fone, hillbilly chopsticks, a decision top, the baldman’s hairbrush, a back scratcher, a stool sample, and last but not least, a boogar box.